Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Ramona Stinger is Pissed That Whippersnapper Brandi Whoreville Stole her Move!

This week on The Really Botoxed Housewives of Beverly Hills, Brandi showed her true stalker -- crazier stalking than hiding in the bushes wearing a wig -- by asking Elaine "I have an Emmy but I never/always mention it" Davidson, to act out a scene from Days of Our Lives.   Days is the best soap ever to exist, so I can see how this whole thing went down.  Elaine seemed horrified, but not as horrified as Lipps Rinna, who was bummed no one asked her to bust out her soap opera moves.  So Brandi did what anyone would do to get a good scene going... she threw a drink in Elaine's smug face.

This move was trademarked on last season of The Extremely Old and Trainwrecked Housewives of New York, by Ramona Singer, when she busted up Kristin Teethman's lip.  Now I'm still not sure I saw any blood -- it pretty much seemed like a little crocodile crawled up her ass and made those tears roll down her face.

On a side note: I love that Brandi, who claims to be a Days super fan, did not know that Lisa Rinna was the first Billie!  She must have seen Peter Reckell and asked herself, "How come they didn't replace Bo with someone better?" and then forgot she even asked the question when she saw a bottle of wine nearby.  You know Brandi has Macguyvered her wine bottles open with nothing but a toothpick and some dental floss!  That girl is a professional wino!!

I want to point out that Brandi still owes Elaine $100 for the whole bet on who was actually the original Billie, but instead she gave her some dumb necklace at Yolanda's party.  Frankly, I'm surprised Yolanda unshackled them from David's piano long enough for them to talk. 

In case you missed it: see below.  Gif care of All Things Real Housewives


Saturday, September 13, 2014

Cinderella Sucks What??

Love me some Ghetto Disney vids! Thanks to my buddy Nick for sharing :)

Friday, September 12, 2014

Flashback Friday!! ABC After School Specials Were The Shiz!

As a kid, I remember stressing that the bus was going to be late getting me home in time for ABC After School Specials!  These awesome mini movies starred the likes of Rob Lowe, Jodie Foster and Kristy McNichol and ran from the 70s until the 90s.  They understood the beyond dramatic world of teenagers and made sure that we felt better about being awkward, pimply and lame. 

And for the popular kids, they tried to make them feel bad about making fun of the short bus kids.  They took on every handicap they could think of, like blindness, wheelchairs and special ed!  I wish it was still on today.  But alas, kids are such assholes nowadays why bother.

Here's one of my favs, "The Great Love Experiment!" 


Monday, September 8, 2014

Santa Came Early For RHONJ Hubby Rino Aprea

This season of Real Housewives of New Jersey is turning into the Jerry Springer show!  So far we've had a Jerry Springer hair hold (between one of the annoying twins and Amber Marcheesy), lesbian lover fakery (Rosie's lover tells TMZ " I'm just not that into you") and now the most recent Twinning scandal "My mother slept with my husband!"

Us Weekly is reporting that for some reason Teresa Aprea's mom is going to sue Amber Marcheesy's lame ass husband for spreading the rumor that she slept with Rino, when I clearly remember it being Victoria Gotti vomiting up that precious tidbit. Look, I'm not at all claiming that Amber's hubbs Jim Marcheesy isn't the lamest person on the planet, with his idiotic commercials and his I'm better than you attitude, I just didn't see him at the table sipping Fabulicious with Gotti, Amber and Teresa G.

To be honest, these new bitches are stealing the show away from our favorite Jersey ladies, Teresa Giudice and J. Lo wannabe Melissa Gorga.  And clearly Juicy Joe has been sent to charm school because lately when the crazy shit breaks out, the camera always cuts to him sipping his beverages with his pinky up!
“He started talking about his divorce,” Gotti tells Teresa Giudice and Amber Marchese. “And he tells me this crazy story and he said, ‘It’s something she will never forgive me for,’ and I said, ‘You cheated…'” Gotti continued, “He says, ‘Well, it’s who I cheated with.’ I go what her sister? He went, ‘No.’ And I said who then? What would make her… ” “He just looked at me and he said, ‘Her mother,'” Gotti said

Read more at: http://allthingsrh.com/rino-aprea-slept-teresas-mother-santa/ | All Things Real Housewives
“He started talking about his divorce,” Gotti tells Teresa Giudice and Amber Marchese. “And he tells me this crazy story and he said, ‘It’s something she will never forgive me for,’ and I said, ‘You cheated…'” Gotti continued, “He says, ‘Well, it’s who I cheated with.’ I go what her sister? He went, ‘No.’ And I said who then? What would make her… ” “He just looked at me and he said, ‘Her mother,'” Gotti said

Read more at: http://allthingsrh.com/rino-aprea-slept-teresas-mother-santa/ | All Things Real Housewives


Thursday, September 4, 2014

RIP Joan Rivers!

America's favorite bitchy old lady has passed away.  After suffering some kind of medical situation while on the table for "throat surgery" aka her 257th face lift.  She entertained us with her stand-up, she bitch slapped celebrities with the flick of her Lee Press On Nails and got into Twitter fights up until her last breath.  She leaves behind her daughter, the most annoying person on the planet, but we will give her a break today 'cause she lost her mom. 

Can you imagine being Joan Rivers' daughter?  I can only imagine the first day of school, Melissa coming down to the kitchen and Joan looking her up and down and rasping out "Melissa, is that what you're wearing on your first day of school? You're outfit looks like shit!"  And Melissa sadly replying, "It's my uniform."  She grew up in Bev Hills, of course she wore a uniform!  Suck it up, you poor bitches!!

I'm going to be first in line at Joan's estate sale.  You know she was a hoarder! 

You will be missed, Joan Rivers!

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Brangelina Finally Get D'emselves Hitched!

Here's a story of a crazy lady who was busy wearing Billy Bob Thornton's blood in a vile around her neck!  Here's the story of a hot guy named Brad, who was married to Jennifer Aniston.  Till the one day when this lady met this fellow, he cheated on his wife and divorced her ass.  Now after adopting tons of babies, this couple had a few of their own.  That's how they became the Pitt-Jolie Bunch! 

I know this doesn't rhyme, but whatever.

Finally Brad Pitt married Angelina Jolie and made all the little kids officially a family.  Awww tender moments.  Now I have to rush out to buy People if I want to see the precious moments photos of the wedding!

Monday, July 20, 2009